ARE YOU 'TOO NICE' AT WORK? CAREER EXPERTS WEIGH IN

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Career coach Emily Rezkalla urges being "mean" at work, sparking debate on how to balance assertiveness in the office.

Emily Rezkalla, a career coach from Vancouver, Canada has sparked conversation online about the balance between assertiveness and professionalism in the workplace.

Rezkalla, who has been coaching for over five years, urged her audience to shed overly agreeable tendencies and embrace assertiveness as they begin the work year.

"It is time for you to be mean at work because you, my friend, were way too nice and people-pleasy in 2024," Rezkalla said in a TikTok video on January 7.

Clarifying her stance, she added: "When I say mean, I mean assertive, direct, opinionated…There is always going to be one person who thinks you are difficult, but if you measure success by how much people like you, you will stay agreeable and complacent. What an ick that is!"

Rezkalla, who left a traditional corporate role to pursue career coaching full-time, spoke to Newsweek about her professional journey and why she has opted to share this advice with her 200,000-plus online following.

"After nine years working in corporate, nonprofit, and government jobs, I realized I had a passion for helping others navigate the unpredictable twists and turns of career growth," Rezkalla told Newsweek.

Her approach, she noted, is aimed at simplifying the complexities of job hunting and empowering entry- and mid-level professionals—many of whom have a tendency to people please or feel anxious—to advocate for themselves confidently in the workplace.

Rezkalla calls this her philosophy of "Being Professionally Mean."

It is not about rudeness, she emphasized, but about being "objective, constructive, direct, and assertive—all the qualities people shy away from because they are too busy prioritizing others' comfort over their own growth."

Her bold take has resonated with many of the post's 2.1 million viewers on TikTok, but it also sparked debate.

"The moment I became meaner at work I got promoted every single year. Some people love me, others hate me," one viewer said.

"Was being 'nice' to some coworkers for a two whole years, only to find out they speak behind my back about how much of a procrastinator l am, you will never satisfy everyone so just focus on yourself," another said.

However, a different person commented: "Not that we go to work to make friends, but people who are like this are not liked, they are tolerated for the sake of professionalism and keeping the peace."

Someone else added: "This will get you fired REAL quick."

The Risks of Assertiveness

Timothy Glowa, founder of HR Brain, offered a more cautious perspective on Rezkalla's advice.

"This advice can be very damaging to a person's career if applied in the wrong way," Glowa told Newsweek.

He cautioned that while assertiveness might work in some contexts, and for some workers, such as those with supportive leadership, it can backfire in many other professional settings.

"The potential damaging implications include misinterpretation of assertiveness as mean behavior, which can harm workplace relationships and culture," he added. "It also ignores the need for tailored strategies based on an individual's personality and workplace environment."

He highlighted risks like damaging reputations and increasing workplace anxiety among more introverted individuals. Glowa went on to warn that encouraging employees to adopt assertiveness that is not part of their personality could also be counterproductive.

"Encouraging such strong assertiveness could push people to behave inauthentically," he said. "Authenticity is essential for building genuine workplace connections and maintaining mental well-being."

Rezkalla acknowledges these concerns, noting that being assertive must always align with being professional, being able to read the room, and being your true self.

"Being 'professionally mean' is not about slander or gossip—it is about advocating for yourself and setting boundaries," she said.

The coach recommends being 'professionally mean' in low stakes situations at work, to see if it has a good pay off without rocking the boat too much.

"Someone will always have an issue with you, no matter what you do," Rezkalla points out. "So, focus on being strategic and authentic instead of chasing the impossible goal of pleasing everyone."

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