THREE SUBTLE SIGNS YOU'RE BEING 'DIGITALLY REJECTED'
- Melissa Fleur Afshar
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Newsweek Exclusive Feature
Experts say being ignored online can sting like real-life rejection—here are three signs that you are being digitally rejected.
In an age where careers can take off entirely online and relationships can unfold without a single spoken word, rejection and the more-sensitive exchanges in human communication have also been digitized.
Michael Davis, CEO of MindfulBytes.io and a cyberpsychology researcher affiliated with Harvard's Project Zero, has seen firsthand the emotional toll that digital disconnection—and rejection—can have, especially on younger users.
What Is Digital Rejection?
"Digital rejection is the experience of being ignored, excluded or minimized through online interactions—like unanswered messages; being left out of group threads; or having someone watch your content without engaging," Davis told Newsweek. "The psychological sting of being 'left on read' is often just as intense as being ignored in person."
Davis is one of several experts interviewed by Newsweek about the growing phenomenon of digital rejection—a quietly pervasive but largely undefined emotional experience that recently burst into public view, thanks to an Instagram post.
Shared by the account @latenightepiphanies_ on April 3, the post featured a notes app screenshot listing subtle social slights. This laid out everything from getting few likes on a social-media post, to someone accepting your follow request but not following you back, and even dry email responses, as being examples of digital rejection.
The post has racked up more than 5,000 likes to date, sparking heated debate in its comment section.
While some Instagram users dismissed the idea, urging others to spend less time online and more time "getting out of our heads," many others acknowledged the experience and shared their own stories of how digital snubs—however small—left them feeling confused, diminished or quietly hurt.
"We started Late Night Epiphanies in 2022 with a shared belief that people are craving real connection," the account's admins, two U.S.-based sisters in their 20s who want to remain anonymous, told Newsweek. "Since then, it has become an engaged community of over 600,000 members that relate to our mission, which is helping people connect."
As every form of communication and relationship-building experience has increasingly moved online, so too has rejection. According to the comments under the post, this does not always look like the harsher ends of the rejection pendulum: ghosting or unfollowing. More often, it appears as silence: no comment, no reply, no engagement.
"Digital forms of exclusion can trigger real emotional dysregulation and social anxiety," Davis said, "particularly in younger users who have not yet developed the tools to separate self-worth from digital validation."
Signs You Are Being Rejected Online
Davis identified three subtle but telling signs someone may be experiencing digital rejection.
First, you are consistently receiving no replies or one-word responses in group threads, while others are engaging in full conversations. Second, you are being excluded from group chats, events, or collaborations. And third, someone watches your stories or messages but never reacts or comments—just "silent consumption" that reinforces disconnection.
While the internet may be seen as their social playground, that sense of digital invisibility is not just a Gen Alpha or Gen Z phenomenon.
Chris Manno, a relationship therapist based in California, told Newsweek he sees the same dynamic playing out among older adults. For Manno, digital rejection is more than a social slight—it can also be a symptom of a deeper instinct to disconnect from overwhelming technology.
"Digital rejection refers to the very natural and understandable trend that is a reaction to the hyper-dependence on technology we have come to know in our modern world," Manno said. "It is a rejection of all the influence that technology [has], especially because we know more and more about the impact of it on our brains, behavior and even physical body."
Often, Manno said, this rejection is not even intentional.
"It may start with a personal notion like, 'One day, I just stopped checking Instagram … And honestly I've had no interest in going back,'" he added.
Rather than deliberate avoidance, digital rejection can begin as a physical and emotional resistance—anxiety triggered by the sound of a phone pinging, tension in the body caused by constant notification checks.
"One sign would be a recognition of your own anxiety level as it is affected by your constant connection," Manno said. "Does that anxiety not only affect the state of your mind, but do you also feel it manifested in your body?"
Manno added that people often begin to notice a subtle shift away from digital spaces after engaging in offline activities such as reading in the park or hiking—moments when they feel more grounded, connected and alive.
"Many people just start to get a growing sense that our technology dependence is not a natural thing," Manno said, "and, even without beginning to 'hate' it, understand that its impact on us is contrary to creating a good quality of life."
Newsweek recently explored the growing phenomenon of younger adults turning away from social media, despite being the most digitally literate generation.
Another sign of digital rejection, Manno said, is recognizing how much happier and more grounded one feels after stepping away from their devices.
"You may realize that, despite how much self-esteem you may have, that this kind of constant 'checking in' only works to lead you to experience more negative thoughts and thought patterns relating to your current self and your future" Manno added.
Dr. Ashwini Nadkarni, a psychiatrist and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, told Newsweek that the phenomenon is nuanced.
"While the term 'digital rejection' can mean different things depending on the context, it refers, overall, to the experience people have of dismissal or exclusion in the digital space," Nadkarni said.
She added that this can include a wide range of experiences—from being ghosted on a dating app to noticing a sudden drop in online engagement.
Nadkarni said: "Signs that someone may be experiencing digital rejection include having one's content left unread or ignored on social-media platforms; unexplained ghosting or sudden silence, for example, on an online dating site; or a significant decrease in interaction where one might have been previously engaged."
These subtle shifts can have outsize effects, experts say, because of the increasingly blurred boundaries between our digital and real-world identities and social lives.
The post that set off the conversation on Instagram may have struck a nerve precisely because it avoided melodrama. Its examples—feeling uncool compared to other people, friends not engaging with your content—are so small that they are easy to dismiss. However, in aggregate, they may be shaping how people experience our social world, and how they understand their value within it.
"The healthiest thing to do is to start questioning your relationship with technology," Manno said. "The next step does not have to be the complete rejection of it, but it could be at least a modification of how you use it in your daily life so that you can feel more calm, balanced and connected to yourself."
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